The Movie Script
by MoonStarDutchess
Summary: The characters see the movie script of Conqueror of Shamballa and two particular blond women want revenge for not getting their men in the end. Sort of Royai and EdWin. [Rather Cracktastic]


**The Movie Script**

**Author: MoonStarDutchess**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. **

**AN: The first part of this started as a cosplay skit but we thought of something else. I wanted to continue it so I did. **

**It's quite a Crack Fic. **

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Ed was sitting on a bench outside on a beautiful spring day. In his hands was what seemed to be a script of some kind. Upon a closer view of the book -like documents once could see the title. It read: Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa.

"Hot damn! This is awesome! I get to travel between two worlds by a rocket, wear a cool suit and the best part is…the best part is….MUSTANG IS AN EMO PIRATE!" Ed exclaimed in laughter. Little did he know that said person was standing right behind him.

"The hell I am!" He had an eye patch in his hand, both eyes were revealed and fine. He threw the patch down and stomped on it. "See! I have both eyes as well!"

Ed chuckled as he got to a specific page. "Actually being emo and having an eye patch are the least of your worries," he replied.

Roy raised an eyebrow at the comment.

"What in the hell do you mean by that?" Roy asked.

Ed smiled widely and evilly. "I mean a woman named Riza Hawkeye, should be more of a worry for you."

A feeling of abject horror shot through him. He ran what he could have done through his head repeatedly, coming up with nothing. He reluctantly asked, "What about her?"

"Look on page 367," Ed said and handed him the script. Roy flipped through the script to the page.

His eyes widened as he read. "Oh. . .uh oh…the balloon…what I said… "

"Yes, and what are your thoughts," Ed said, unable to wipe the smile off of his face.

" I am fucked!"

"Yes, isn't page 367 interesting?" a familiar voice said. He turned slowly to see Riza hitting the script against her other hand while tapping her foot and looking like she could maim the black haired alchemist.

"Now let me explain Riza. This is just a script…"

"Yes…it is…" she said, with a glare.

"Right," Mustang replied, hoping that fact would calm her.

"Roy…" she said, surprising him that she used his name

"Yes," he asked, with a smirk.

"You know how everyone has me portrayed as a gun harpy in their fan fictions?" she asked.

"Yes," Roy squeaked as his smirk turned into a fearful grimace. . Riza threw down the script and drew her guns.

"It's time to turn those into fact," she replied, in a growl.

"Now..Riza… I can explain…" he said, backing up slightly.

"Go ahead . . .I am listening ,"she replied. She clicked the safety off.

Ed laughed at the look on Roy's face until Riza turned with a glare. "It's your fault he was there in the first place," she snapped. "And by the way Ed, I called Winry. She should be on her way here. She wants an explanation about a girl named Noah." Ed paled noticeably. Roy started to sneak away.

"Hold it!" she yelled. He froze dead in his tracks. His entire body was blue. "You were going to explain." She walked up to him and pointed the gun at his private area.

"Ok, just get the gun away from my happy place!" he begged.

"It's not going to be so happy if you don't have an excellent explanation."

"You see. . . I wanted to marry you in the end but the movie had to be cut a bit so they couldn't fit that part in. . ."

When Roy heard her growl, he took off running behind a building and Riza followed him quickly. Ed soon heard gunshots and cringed as he heard Roy scream.

"OH SHIT! Riza! I don't think my leg is suppose to bend that way!" Ed cringed, and heard Roy follow up with, "Now I know my foot isn't suppose to go there!"

Ed almost pitied the man. . .almost…he then realized he would have to give Winry an explanation as well. He looked down at the script, formulating something that would appease the wrench wielding woman that he knew. As he stared down at the script, two shadows loomed over him. He looked up to see Lust and Scar with frowns on their faces, as per usual.

"We have issues…" Lust growled. But they were interrupted by a girly scream coming from behind the building.

"Why does everyone come to me?" Ed muttered. He looked up at them. "What is your problem?"

"We are only in the movie for less than five seconds!" Scar said.

"I see," Ed replied.

As Roy screamed again, and they all look in the direction from whence it came.

"Hawkeye saw page 367 didn't she?" Lust asked.

"Yea," Ed replied.

Riza came out from behind the building holding a limping Roy by the ear.

"We are going to studio bones! Who is coming?"

"We are!" Lust and Scar said. They walk away.

"And I am suppose to be the kid," Ed said aloud.

"Edward! Get your ass over here!" Riza yelled. Ed quickly stood and followed the other four.

"At least I got out of getting hit by a wre…" Suddenly Ed was knocked to the ground by a flying metal projectile. He stood up and rubbed his head. . .

"ED COME ON!" Winry yelled and dragged him away.

"Bones hasn't got a chance. . ." Ed muttered as they made their way to Studio Bones.

Sure enough, Riza and Winry soon gained control with the help of rabid Royai and Ed/Winry fans and redid the movie. Winry got Ed and Riza and Roy got married in the end. A nice happy ending for all. . .

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** AN: Hope you like it! Please drop a review. **


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